What is Cycle Alignment Anyway?

I often post about aligning my business efforts and lifestyle to my period, but don't always explain what that looks like.

I've been adjusting how I work, what movement practices I do and what food I eat to be centred around the hormonal and energetic shifts that my body goes through for about a year now.

This process of making gentle shifts to honor myself is called cycle alignment. 

 

To Give Some Context

I started my sexual healing journey a few years ago and opened myself up to a ton of sexual awakening, trauma healing and shadow work. 

I recognized fairly early on that I based my worthiness on my ability to make a man orgasm. Suddenly, when I was with a partner that was consciously deciding not to orgasm, it threatened my worthiness. 

As soon as I noticed an area of clear growth, I dove deep into every resource I could find on sexuality, sexual healing and conscious sexual practices. I got into tantra, yoni eggs, sex magic and womb healing, and read every...

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Healthy and Harmful Relationship Resistance

While talking with a very dear friend, a question came up that caused some reflection and introspection.

To summarize, she had been with a partner that had some manipulative tendencies. As I have had experiences with abusive relationships, she felt safe to talk to me about her experiences.

 

The question that came up was around:

-when we are falling into old patterns

-running away from change 

-or acting out of anxiety

RATHER THAN

-when our needs aren't being met

-our boundaries are being crossed

-or a situation is actually harmful

It boiled down to..

"When is resistance in relationship healthy vs harmful?".

 

Patterning In Resistance

It's common in the "conscious community" to look at difficult situations in our lives as periods of resistance that are helping us to grow and look at our own shit.

The issue is, in an intimate relationship, when you have trauma patterns, it can be hard to see where you are growing and where you are letting your boundaries be crossed.

...

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The Truth Behind Thinking Positive

Thinking positive is one of the first chapters of Personal Development 101. Every book you read, speaker you listen to, and course you take will dive into some form of reminder that you need to think positively. 

 

Positive Mindset = Positive Life

It's true, having a positive mindset will attract more positivity into your life. That positivity can then increase your goal setting and manifestation efforts.

The problem is, there's a disconnect between the amount of information saying you need to think positively and the amount of information telling you how. 

Telling someone a hundred times that they need to think positively might cause them to be a tiny bit more conscious to the language they use. Where the real mindset shift will come is when there are actionable steps to make change. 

 

Mindset Shifts Take Time

Catching thought patterns, changing your mindset, and altering what you think about yourself is not an overnight fix. Since the thoughts that...

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Authenticity

Over the past few weeks, I have been blessed with the ability to see how I show up as "new me" in my "old life".

Both in the moment and in reflection, I've become aware of periods of inauthenticity. They show up so sneakily that they were almost hard to catch. 

 

In Real Life

To paint the picture, I recently spent a few months in growth mode, expanding my consciousness, starting a new life, and learning a ton about myself.

It's been beautiful and challenging in all kinds of ways, but I was surrounded by newness. I was living in a new country, making new friends, building a new schedule and facing new parts of my shadow.

Plans changed, as usual, and I ended up spending an extended period of time in my old life. I was back in the same places, with the same people from the last 5 years of my life. 

 

Reflection

I had some time alone before a couple weeks of travelling and seeing friends and family and I decided to reflect. I recognized that when I went through...

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Vulnerability and Being a Voice

Today I did an hour long live workshop on aligning with your menstrual cycle to unlock your full potential. A week and a half ago, I hosted another hour long workshop on period empowerment and cycle alignment. These two add to a long list of "taboo" workshops and events I've held.

 

Two Reasons

There are two reasons why I am an advocate for hosting and attending these types of events.

  1. Connecting with my body through my menstrual cycle and sexuality has been the catalyst for the most massive transformation in my life.

  2. I have a voice to be able to talk about the things that most people have shame around.

 

My Story

A few years ago, I started a journey to heal my sexual trauma and reignite my sexual energy.

It started with researching tantra, and then yoni eggs, and then the next thing I knew, I was in the mirror,  touching and tasting myself in some deeply intimate ways. I tried every practice I could find and read every book I could get my hands on.

I was coming...

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Handling Unmet Expectations and Attachments

I am the queen of creating plans and building attachments and expectations to those outcomes.

I say that as though it's something I'm proud of but it's truly not. Ironically it's been my most prominent teacher in the past few months.

 

Expectations

Ever since I was a child, I had attachments to how things "had to be".

If we had plans to go to the park, we better have damn well gone or I would have stomped my little feet and cried my eyes out.

I was always the emotional child, smiling one moment and bawling the next. I wouldn't always stay in that place of emotion but as soon as I found out things were not going my way, I would be quick to react.

 

As all patterns do, this one followed me into adulthood but showed itself in different ways. I would be attached to the expectations I would set around plans, experiences, success and even partners.

Although I have been working for years to be present and be in a state of gratitude and acceptance, this lesson is one I get to...

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Catching Thought Loops

The language we are exposed to, through media, friends, family, society, music and even in our own heads greatly impacts us in ways you may not consider. 

 

Think about it, if your state, energy, and surroundings can impact your day to day, it is a no-brainer that the language you are exposed to can do the same.

 

This may also be a no-brainer to you, as I felt the same way. I've been aware of the impact of virtually anything I am exposed to at any given moment and I actively do my best to use this to my advantage. 

I surround myself with people that are growing and doing the work, I try hard to consume content that promotes positivity, and I affirm myself with words of abundance, joy, love and compassion.

 

All of these things contribute to my generally happy overall state, but I missed one simple thing.

Despite all of the other external factors that I had put to optimize my well being, I was letting a few phrases of self talk negatively impact me, almost...

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Masculine and Feminine Balance

I often find myself swinging too far into my masculine energy and needing to overcorrect.

 

If you see me, I likely look like I'm heavily in my feminine energy more often than not. I wear a lot of flowy dresses, I move my body in delicate ways, and I am smiling even when I cry.

The physical body I show up in is very feminine, but my actions and energy have been highly masculine for a long time.

 

Growing up, I learned to believe that in order to be loved, I had to be doing something. I had to be useful to those around me and I had to be achieving. I sure got a lot of love from all of the things I would do, awards I would win, and high grades I would get, but it taught me that simply being was wrong. 

 

Unconsciously, these beliefs carried on into adulthood. As a young saleswoman, I had something to prove and I would do ANYTHING it took to be the best. Not so surprisingly, I became the best, but I destroyed my body and connection to myself in the process.

 

...

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Energy and Self-Sabotage

I absolutely love the holidays.

 

I had always been the excited child on Christmas morning, up before the sun, waiting for everyone else to get up before we could open presents. Not surprisingly, that excitement around the holidays followed me into adulthood. As an adult, I have become the organizer of celebrations, hiding Easter eggs and setting up the Christmas tree. Seeing the people I love share the holiday excitement is one of the greatest pleasures I can receive. 

In addition to the mainstream holidays, there is one other day in the year that turns me into a small excited child; that day is my birthday. Most accurately described as a very small and excited chihuahua, my energy on my birthday is wild, childish and playful. This week, I celebrated another year around the sun, and as expected, I was beyond excited. Now, a quarantine birthday can only be so exciting, as a big party is out of the question. But a combination of my own self care practices and some surprises...

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Looking for What I'll Find

I started my morning with seeing 12 red cardinals.

 

I'm no bird expert, and that may or may not have been a common occurrence. But that's beyond the point. The point is, a few weeks ago, I saw one for the first time and got very excited. I believe in things showing up in my life as signs and following the first, I saw a few others on different occasions following. Then, this morning, on my 40 minute walk, I saw 12.

 

What's important is not that I saw a bunch of birds, what's important is why.

I saw all of the birds (maybe I missed a few extra, who knows), because they're active in my awareness. To a certain extent, I'm likely looking for them.

What I'm looking for, I'll find. This same mentality rings true with anything.

Look for positivity in your life, and you will find it. Look for reasons why no one loves you, and you'll find them too.

 

Our minds work in wonderful and complex ways. They delete, distort and ultimately just ignore whatever is not relevant to your...

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