Although I recognize times where old patterning has it's teeth still sunken into my skin, there was a topic that has come up a lot lately that I felt needed some light shed on it...
Lately, with my group coaching community, we've been discussing a lot about how society points women against each other.
It's those sneaky thoughts of...
"It's not acceptable to be friends with your boyfriend/husband/fiancee's ex"
"Two powerful women in a company must be enemies"
Or even... "She's your competition so you must hate each other, right?"
It's engrained in our society so deeply that when the opposite is true, everyone is confused.
A dear friend recently shared a story about meeting her partner's ex, where their hug and hello brought on very surprised looks from those around.
Unfortunately, this is normal. Women are pinned against each other, and lead to believe that other women do not have their highest good in mind.
Growing up, I viewed my period as something that needed to be "dealt with".
It was addressed to me in an afternoon class of sex education in a very logical and product based manner. When I first got my period, to no fault of my own mother, it was handled the same way; I realized I was bleeding and my mother and I went into the specifics of how to use a tampon. As I grew up, the view I had around my menstrual cycle began to shift again. Unconsciously, I picked up on how modern society viewed this part of a woman's life: a period is dirty, something that needs to be hidden, and we need products that mask the smell and reduce the inconvenience so that women can return to participating in extreme sports, pretending as though it does not exist and returning to normal, patriarchal society. Then, as a sexually active young woman, the beliefs around inconvenience became more engrained in my reality. On top of a deep lack of self love, after telling a boy that I was bleeding, he had made it...
I've bounced back and forth between writing about body image for months now, primarily because it's one of those ideas I have not quite gotten a grip on. I feel like missing the physical part of the whole "self love" game makes me feel like a bit of a fraud.
I can say that over the last few years, I physically haven't changed much. I've gained a little weight, lost a little weight, filled out with muscle and had things normalize. My point with this is that despite the fact that physically I have not changed a whole lot, the voice inside my head is certain that several times per day, I go from being "super model hot" to practically bursting out of my clothing in all the most unflattering places. Internally, I create this perception of what I am that is different from reality and it comes with an aggressive inner critic.
The internal critic is genuinely not satisfied most of the time and I let this dissatisfaction rule how I've felt about my body for far too long. This...