How Unconscious Patterns are Shaped in Child and Teen Years

My main mission lately has been that of self-discovery. I've been asking my inner child to bring anything and everything that may be affecting me unconsciously to the surface.

She's done a beautiful job of showing me all kinds of memories I've suppressed and forgotten. 

One particular memory has stood out...

 

Shaping our Reality in Childhood

Before I tell this story, I think it's important to start with a bit of a reminder. 

When we are children, we are discovering the world.

We learn "right" from "wrong", we are taught what is "normal" and "acceptable" based off of our family's religion and culture, and our belief systems are shaped.

 

As we grow older, we may start to break free and create other beliefs too, but until we are in our late teens, or early twenties, our realities and belief systems are still very malleable. 

As young teenagers, we are trusting, believe what we are told, and can be highly influenced by our peers.

During this same period,...

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Seeing Your Shadow

How do you see darkness in others?

Think about it for a second... How does darkness, whatever your definition of that is, show up in other people?

 

Darkness In Others

For me, I can most prominently see darkness as expressions of ego.

It will be moments where someone will make a comment that feels like it comes from an ugly place, such as a joke that comes with a hint of passive aggression.

It's an intuitive knowing we have, to see when someone is hiding their true feelings. 

Additionally, I find I can see someone's darkness the most when they feel inauthentic, like they don't even believe what they say.

 

 

This darkness is an expression of shadow. Whether consciously or unconsciously, that behaviour or way of expressing is coming from a place that has been neglected and removed.

 

Identity and Shadow

Every single person has an identity that they have created for themselves. 

As part of the human experience, we learn what is considered...

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Catching Thought Loops

The language we are exposed to, through media, friends, family, society, music and even in our own heads greatly impacts us in ways you may not consider. 

 

Think about it, if your state, energy, and surroundings can impact your day to day, it is a no-brainer that the language you are exposed to can do the same.

 

This may also be a no-brainer to you, as I felt the same way. I've been aware of the impact of virtually anything I am exposed to at any given moment and I actively do my best to use this to my advantage. 

I surround myself with people that are growing and doing the work, I try hard to consume content that promotes positivity, and I affirm myself with words of abundance, joy, love and compassion.

 

All of these things contribute to my generally happy overall state, but I missed one simple thing.

Despite all of the other external factors that I had put to optimize my well being, I was letting a few phrases of self talk negatively impact me, almost...

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Patterns From The Past

COVID-19 pushed my long distance partnership quickly into an intensely close relationship.

 

My partner and I had been long distance for a few months, knowing that in the future, I had plans on moving closer. After quitting my job of almost three years, the plan was to travel to his city, spend a few days at his place before a series of extended stays with girlfriends until a more permanent living situation was determined. Things quickly changed with COVID but we mutually decided that it was better to be in the same city and that we would figure it out from there. 31 hours of driving, plus a short 4 hours of hotel-room sleep got me to his doorstep. Isolation protocols were recommended shortly after my return and the original couple nights staying at his place, with his two roommates, turned into "for the foreseeable future". As expected, we both began to find our own traumas and wounded children appearing in our relationship. When you all of the sudden spend every waking moment...

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